


hanakotoba

by Molnija



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (not really) - Freeform, Flowers, M/M, Unrequited Love, sorry izumi, tooru is paired off with an oc because i didn't want any canon character to suffer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 13:03:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11418546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molnija/pseuds/Molnija
Summary: When Tooru comes home, a gardenia is lying on the table by his apartment door.





	hanakotoba

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Hanakotoba](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11653287) by [Titou_Douh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titou_Douh/pseuds/Titou_Douh)



> this was supposed to be a dark thing about unrequited love and learning to live with the pain and jealousy of seeing the person you love be with someone else
> 
> but then I just went and made it sappy. uh, enjoy?

When Tooru comes home, a gardenia is lying on the table by his apartment door.

There’s no way it’s from his boyfriend, since he just returned from a date with him and he was there the entire time. Besides, a gardenia seems like a strange choice to proclaim his love, and it’s not his favourite flower either.

The flower is just sitting there, frail and beautiful, silent yet saying a thousand things he can’t even begin to fathom. When he picks it up, it smells sweet, perhaps a bit too sweet, and throws up so many questions he doesn’t know which one to ask first.

It’s only a single flower, nothing else. No message, no hint to the person who put it there, it’s not even in a vase. Just the gardenia.

He smiles when it tickles his nose, bittersweetly. He’s had secret admirers before, but he’s never been given flowers. Perhaps it’s someone from the building? In the end, it doesn’t really matter, since he’s happy with Yuri, so all advances on their part are in vain.

If he were to choose who he wants it to be from, though …

Tooru shakes his head to get rid of the thought before he can finish it and goes inside.

(There’s someone, maybe, but he doesn’t matter.)

 

* * *

 

Keiji is sweet.

He thinks there’s no harm in saying it, because it’s true. Keiji is like the taste of dark cherries, one he can’t get enough of, and his eyes reflect the moonlight like he belongs with the stars high up in the night sky.

Tooru gets along with most of the people in the building, but Keiji is the only one he regularly spends time with. He’s refreshing to be with, and whenever he’s bored, he knows he can simply go downstairs and knock on his door and they’ll find some way to entertain themselves. Tonight, they’re on the roof, stargazing.

“Hey, look, that’s Cassiopeia! It’s …”

“Your favourite, I know,” Keiji finishes his sentence and laughs. “You say that every time.”

“Well, it’s a pretty constellation! I need to take Yuri here someday,” he says with a smile. “He’d love this.”

“Would he,” he mutters, but it doesn’t sound like much of a question.

Thinking back to his boyfriend’s love for sci-fi movies over which they bonded in the first place, Tooru sighs happily – knowing that he’s got someone like that, someone who can relish in his favourite things, makes him happy.

(He ignores the sting in his heart when he looks to the side and sees Keiji staring into nothing, silent as the night.)

 

* * *

 

It’s a tulip this time.

Since he found the gardenia it’s been a week, and once again, he’s come home from a date with Yuri. They went to see a movie, one he doesn’t remember much about, it was kind of forgettable. Something in his heart flutters when he sees the flower lying there, coloured a soft pink and, once again, completely alone.

It looks a bit lonely.

Again, a tulip is a strange choice for a flower to give to the person you like. He’s not too interested in the language of flowers, so he doesn’t know what exactly it means, but if he were his admirer, he’d put roses or something.

Though roses are a bit cliché, and someone putting thought into it seems like a more intimate thing to do. It makes him wonder what kind of person they are.

He gently runs a finger over its blossoms, thinking about someone coming by and placing it on the table.

(The image in his mind is a clear one that he pushes aside.)

 

* * *

 

“Do you know _hanakotoba_?”

He could be wrong, but he thinks he sees Keiji wince.

“A bit. Why?” he asks, his eyes trained on the top Tooru picked out for him when they first entered the store. It’s a soft beige colour, not something he’d usually wear but he thinks it looks wonderful on him.

“I’ve been getting flowers,” he explains, watching the other, but his expression and posture tell nothing. “A gardenia and a tulip, so far. Any idea what they mean?”

His grip on the fabric tightens just a bit, yet his face remains calm. “Gardenias mean … A crush, something like that. Secret love, too. Whoever gave it to you seems to have a secret crush on you.”

That’s a bit boring, to be honest.

“And tulips?”

“Tulips …” He sighs and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Unrequited love.”

“Oh,” Tooru says, unsure how to respond. Then, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you can’t control your feelings. Speaking of flowers, what’s your favourite? I like hyacinths, personally.”

“Hydrangeas! They’re really pretty.”

He looks up at him and his breath hitches. “Pride, was it? It suits you.”

Keiji looks so sad lately.

(He wants to paint the genuine smile from when they met back on his face.)

 

* * *

 

A yellow camellia.

This time, he’s smart enough to pull out his phone and google the meaning quickly. _Longing_ , is what he gets out of it.

This whole flower-giving thing is becoming a bit depressing.

What would Yuri think if he knew about it? He’s a forgiving person, but Tooru’s mind has been elsewhere for their last few meetings, and he’s sought solitude this last week, ever since he went out shopping with Keiji. He hasn’t told him about his secret admirer because he didn’t know how to bring it up, or maybe because he didn’t want to talk about it. He brushed it off with Keiji as a simple happening, even though it’s starting to mean much more to him.

(Keiji, Keiji, it’s always Keiji, and he’s thinking about him so much lately that he’s starting to believe he doesn’t deserve his boyfriend.)

 

* * *

 

“I don’t know what I did wrong!” he whines and Keiji pats his back awkwardly.

“Maybe you should have told him.”

“Yes, but …” He groans and shakes his head. “What was I supposed to say? ‘By the way, Yuri, someone’s giving me flowers and it’s very emotionally confusing right now’?”

“Exactly that.” Keiji hands him a chocolate bar that he takes with gratitude and immediately munches on.

“‘S just so comfusing,” he says with his mouth full, then swallows. “I mean, what am I supposed to feel? They seem so sad. I don’t even know who they are but I don’t want them to be sad, you know?”

“That’s all fine and good, but he was bound to find out about it sooner or later. What was he supposed to think? You’re not the kind of person to keep flowers in your apartment. And he wasn’t mad at you, right?”

“Well, no.” He wasn’t. Maybe that’s the scariest thought of all. “He said that it’s okay, but he can’t keep this relationship going when my heart is elsewhere, but …”

He hates himself for not being heartbroken about it.

Sad, yes. He liked Yuri, he wasn’t dating him for nothing. But it doesn’t hurt as much as he wants it to.

(When he feels Keiji’s hand on his arm, he thinks he knows why.)

 

* * *

 

The flower on his table is a blue hydrangea.

His favourite colour, his favourite flower. Many people know of the former.

Only one person knows the latter.

It’s not like he hasn’t had a suspicion, but knowing that he was actually right …

The card by the flower reads _I’m sorry_.

( _Don’t be._ )

 

* * *

 

“It was you,” he breathes, panting from his run down to the garden. “Of course it was you.”

Keiji’s is expression is strangely, unusually, beautifully vulnerable. “I’m sorry.”

He waves the flower and the card around. “You already said that, but you don’t have to be. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I wanted to,” he says quietly. “I’ve been meaning to. But I didn’t know how, and somehow I thought it would be a good idea … In the end, that just destroyed your relationship. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have done it …”

“It would have destroyed my relationship no matter how you’d have said it.”

He looks up, a questioning, but hopeful, glimmer in his eyes. “How come?”

There’s red roses blooming on one of the bushes, and it’s perhaps a bad idea to pluck one, but he somehow manages without getting stung, then turns back to Keiji and holds it out to him. “I don’t know much about flowers, but this one’s easy.”

Saying it out loud would be far too terrifying.

“You … But … What about Izumi-san …”

“I liked him, but he’s not you. I’m not sure why it took me so long to realise that.”

When Keiji takes the rose, their fingers brush, sending shivers down his spine.

“Red roses,” he mutters. “They mean …”

( _I love you._ )

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading o/ Izumi Yuri is the captain of one of my fanteams btw, pff. poor guy deserves better than this he's my favourite
> 
> tumblr: akaashi-tooru.tumblr.com/ come shout with me about Akaoi!


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